Relieved. You know that feeling after you've done something great? The amount of adrenaline in your system that just makes you soar? After you've done something, and you know you've done it well, how great it feels? I can't explain it to someone who doesn't know what that feels like. To be just so happy you can't think about anything else? You don't care what's wrong, all you know is you've done well, and you're just.. happy. How your heart beats and your head twirls, how you can't walk straight and can't stop smiling.. can't you feel it? The energy, the excitement, the joy, the gratification? Can't you feel it in the atmosphere?
No, but I can.
I feel it everywhere. I could go anywhere and feel it.
I couldn't explain how wonderful it feels.
How happy I am.
How great it is not not worry about anything.
To be loved, not hurt.
To be happy, and not sad.
To be excited, and not tired.
To not being able to sleep.
To just be.
Just be.
Yeah, I can feel it.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Me me me.
Today, I woke up happy. I just felt like it was going to be a good day, and it really was.
Went to first hour, PE, and just ran & messed around. It was pretty bomb. I love the kids in there.
Second hour we worked in the auditorium for the fire scene and got it down pretty well- I'm proud to say tonight was the best fire we've had thanks to the people who worked on it this morning:]
Lunch, I went with Cass and Haylee bee to Safeway and just hung out. Cass exploded her soda water everywhere and we all laughed for ten minutes. It was pretty great.
Third hour, we went to an assembly and got rallied up just for the heck of it. The dance team was amazing and the band blew everyone's socks off. No wonder they got a superior:]
Fourth hour I understood what we're actually doing, which is relieving. I was getting worried because I didn't understand it. Now, I'll probably pass math. I'm pretty stoked about that most definitely.
After school, my Heather came over and we hung out until call. I cleaned my room and had some laughs. Bogus.
Call was great, I wasn't stressed and only a little nervous. Leah curled my hair and did a great job- it actually held. I got done early and was really excited to go on stage. Got into character and had a lot of energy- which was good, my family was there<3
All in all, it was a great day. I'm really upset it's all over, for me at least. Tomorrow will be good, but I really am going to miss this cast. Within the two weeks we've performed, we've all gotten closer. I love them like a family, and for the most part, we get along. They all made me feel so good tonight, I really think I proved myself and did well as my last night. My family complimented me endlessly, friends too, even people I didn't know. This one lady asked for my autograph. It was a little weird, but at the same time gratifying. It was wonderful, at the least, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'll actually have a life.
A social life..
The play was so much a part of me for so long, it's going to be hard to let it go. It's going to be weird not to have things to do after school. I'm really not going to be able to get used to it for awhile. I loved today, and these last two months. I loved it.
Closing night tomorrow. They'll all rock and I'll get to be backstage cheering them all on. I'm so excited and so sad at the same time. It's like I don't know what to feel.
I love right now.
Went to first hour, PE, and just ran & messed around. It was pretty bomb. I love the kids in there.
Second hour we worked in the auditorium for the fire scene and got it down pretty well- I'm proud to say tonight was the best fire we've had thanks to the people who worked on it this morning:]
Lunch, I went with Cass and Haylee bee to Safeway and just hung out. Cass exploded her soda water everywhere and we all laughed for ten minutes. It was pretty great.
Third hour, we went to an assembly and got rallied up just for the heck of it. The dance team was amazing and the band blew everyone's socks off. No wonder they got a superior:]
Fourth hour I understood what we're actually doing, which is relieving. I was getting worried because I didn't understand it. Now, I'll probably pass math. I'm pretty stoked about that most definitely.
After school, my Heather came over and we hung out until call. I cleaned my room and had some laughs. Bogus.
Call was great, I wasn't stressed and only a little nervous. Leah curled my hair and did a great job- it actually held. I got done early and was really excited to go on stage. Got into character and had a lot of energy- which was good, my family was there<3
All in all, it was a great day. I'm really upset it's all over, for me at least. Tomorrow will be good, but I really am going to miss this cast. Within the two weeks we've performed, we've all gotten closer. I love them like a family, and for the most part, we get along. They all made me feel so good tonight, I really think I proved myself and did well as my last night. My family complimented me endlessly, friends too, even people I didn't know. This one lady asked for my autograph. It was a little weird, but at the same time gratifying. It was wonderful, at the least, I don't know what I'm going to do now. I'll actually have a life.
A social life..
The play was so much a part of me for so long, it's going to be hard to let it go. It's going to be weird not to have things to do after school. I'm really not going to be able to get used to it for awhile. I loved today, and these last two months. I loved it.
Closing night tomorrow. They'll all rock and I'll get to be backstage cheering them all on. I'm so excited and so sad at the same time. It's like I don't know what to feel.
I love right now.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Damn good?
Honey, you got it right. Life is damn good. More than you might think. I'm so happy to be where I am. Things just have to stay this way. I hope they stay this way. God I hope they stay this way.
1. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave me. No matter how close or far, I'll miss you. You are one part of me, more than anyone. You mean the world to me, and when you leave, I'm not going to let you keep me away. You're my savior for everything that's happened to me. Without you, I wouldn't be me. I love you.
2. Yes, I love your obnoxious singing, I love it to death. I love your pearly white teeth, your bright blue eyes, you blond eyelashes. I love your laughter, it lights you up, makes me feel better inside. If it weren't for you last year, I don't know how I would have made it through the whole summer. Honey, you're the best. Sure we've had hard times, but really, at the end of the day, I couldn't stand myself if it weren't for you. You pick me up and make me feel good. You make me laugh, and I love you.
3. Sorry, I don't think it's cool that you got drunk and made a fool of yourself. I love you, but seriously?
4. I want it to happen, I think it would be a good thing if we went with the flow, saw what happened in a new experience. After all, what've we got to lose?
5. I'm sorry I get so jealous so easily, it's how I am. I love you truly and dearly, so don't leave me okay?
6. Stop tring to take my best friend? She doesn't want you honey, so leave.
7. I love you. Thank you for being happy for me when I needed it the most. You mean a lot, and we have a lot to go through within these next four years, and I hope we'll see eachother out through it all, cause I won't make it without you.
1. I'm going to miss you so much when you leave me. No matter how close or far, I'll miss you. You are one part of me, more than anyone. You mean the world to me, and when you leave, I'm not going to let you keep me away. You're my savior for everything that's happened to me. Without you, I wouldn't be me. I love you.
2. Yes, I love your obnoxious singing, I love it to death. I love your pearly white teeth, your bright blue eyes, you blond eyelashes. I love your laughter, it lights you up, makes me feel better inside. If it weren't for you last year, I don't know how I would have made it through the whole summer. Honey, you're the best. Sure we've had hard times, but really, at the end of the day, I couldn't stand myself if it weren't for you. You pick me up and make me feel good. You make me laugh, and I love you.
3. Sorry, I don't think it's cool that you got drunk and made a fool of yourself. I love you, but seriously?
4. I want it to happen, I think it would be a good thing if we went with the flow, saw what happened in a new experience. After all, what've we got to lose?
5. I'm sorry I get so jealous so easily, it's how I am. I love you truly and dearly, so don't leave me okay?
6. Stop tring to take my best friend? She doesn't want you honey, so leave.
7. I love you. Thank you for being happy for me when I needed it the most. You mean a lot, and we have a lot to go through within these next four years, and I hope we'll see eachother out through it all, cause I won't make it without you.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Cherry Valance?
It's official, I am now Cherry Valance. Quite literally on the stage. It's my dream come true, at most. Although opening night was a MESS, it went alright for having no preparation. By Saturday matinee, we were golden:] I was told I was an amazing actress by a director of the college, which boosted my self esteem. It was pretty great, I can't wait to perform for my family this weekend. I'm going to miss it, the drama, and the love we all feel now, what, 2 months in? As much as I thought I wouldn't say it, I'm kind of going to miss this cast, no matter how much they made me cry. It was all worth it.
We all went to Denny's after the last Saturday performance, and though that could have been grander, what happened after was better. To say the least, it was a good day. :]
Cass, you're my hero. You've helped me more than I could have asked for, I don't know what I would have done without you during this whole ordeal. You're my anchor, my rock, you keep me standing on my feet. I don't want what we've established in these two months to go away. Your friendship means more than I can put into words. I love you, okay?
It's 9:52 and there's about an inch? of snow on the ground. Say hello to winter kids, it's here. Hopefully, we wont have a snow day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to school.
In the least, I just want to say that through everything, my life is wonderful. If it weren't for this play, the drama, the heartache, I've made it through it all and now everything is okay. I'm excited with everything now. We have another week to perform, then the 19? I leave for Thespian Conference. I'm stoked.
:D Thanks guys.
We all went to Denny's after the last Saturday performance, and though that could have been grander, what happened after was better. To say the least, it was a good day. :]
Cass, you're my hero. You've helped me more than I could have asked for, I don't know what I would have done without you during this whole ordeal. You're my anchor, my rock, you keep me standing on my feet. I don't want what we've established in these two months to go away. Your friendship means more than I can put into words. I love you, okay?
It's 9:52 and there's about an inch? of snow on the ground. Say hello to winter kids, it's here. Hopefully, we wont have a snow day tomorrow. I'm looking forward to school.
In the least, I just want to say that through everything, my life is wonderful. If it weren't for this play, the drama, the heartache, I've made it through it all and now everything is okay. I'm excited with everything now. We have another week to perform, then the 19? I leave for Thespian Conference. I'm stoked.
:D Thanks guys.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Tag tag tag.
What are the last three things you purchased?
My Flight 409
Taco Belll
And I'm sure some other food.
What are the last three songs you downloaded??
Uhh, lemme check my iTunes?
What are the last three places you visited??
Uhh, does the auditorium count?
Tucson, Az,
aanndd I don't remember where else.
What are your three favorite movies??
Charlie Bartlett
The Other Boleyn Girl
Cashback
(for today:p)
What are your three favorite possessions??
My Night Night :D
My Outsiders BOOK
Hair Ties
What three things can you not live without??
Love
Food
Oxygen :D
but no,
my toothbrush,
internet,
musiccc
What would be your three wishes??
1.) Long long curly curly hair.
2.) For Obama to win, WAIT HE ALREADY DID!
3.) to be happy
What three things haven’t you done yet??
1.) blogged today!
2.) moved into my room
3.) my homework
What are your three favorite dishes??
homemade mac'n'cheese
chicken gnocchi from Olive Garden
Which three celebrities would you most like to hang out with??
Jim Sturgess
Barack Obama!
Brad Pitt
Name three things that freak you out??
1.) Not eating.
2.) The Elections
3.) Fighting
Name three unusual things you are good at.?
1.) Not singing
2.) Reading out loud?
3.) Wonderful grammar
Which three things are you coveting??
1.) iPod times three
2.) my friends
3.) my happiness
Tag three bloggers to do it!?
umm, Shay
Alex
My mom?
My Flight 409
Taco Belll
And I'm sure some other food.
What are the last three songs you downloaded??
Uhh, lemme check my iTunes?
What are the last three places you visited??
Uhh, does the auditorium count?
Tucson, Az,
aanndd I don't remember where else.
What are your three favorite movies??
Charlie Bartlett
The Other Boleyn Girl
Cashback
(for today:p)
What are your three favorite possessions??
My Night Night :D
My Outsiders BOOK
Hair Ties
What three things can you not live without??
Love
Food
Oxygen :D
but no,
my toothbrush,
internet,
musiccc
What would be your three wishes??
1.) Long long curly curly hair.
2.) For Obama to win, WAIT HE ALREADY DID!
3.) to be happy
What three things haven’t you done yet??
1.) blogged today!
2.) moved into my room
3.) my homework
What are your three favorite dishes??
homemade mac'n'cheese
chicken gnocchi from Olive Garden
Which three celebrities would you most like to hang out with??
Jim Sturgess
Barack Obama!
Brad Pitt
Name three things that freak you out??
1.) Not eating.
2.) The Elections
3.) Fighting
Name three unusual things you are good at.?
1.) Not singing
2.) Reading out loud?
3.) Wonderful grammar
Which three things are you coveting??
1.) iPod times three
2.) my friends
3.) my happiness
Tag three bloggers to do it!?
umm, Shay
Alex
My mom?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Really? Really really?
I miss old theatre. I miss the feel, the atmosphere, the people, the times, the happiness.
This play has taken everything I have. I feel so empty. I'm never happy. If I am, it's only for maybe a day, two at most. Then something goes wrong that gets me down again. I'm so sick of being sad, of having no one to depend on. I know, my blogs are all about complaining now. Sorry guys. I just want to be happy. It's kind of like what Cass and I were talking about yesterday. How being a freshman was like being fresh. I can be happy after I get over this road bump, after I get around it, after I find some way over it, I'll be okay. It just seems like once I get past that road bump, I have to get over ten more to be okay. It's so hard, and I'm so tired of it. I mean, I feel like I just attract drama, and I don't even want it, not one bit. I was happy Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It was so so nice not to have to worry about anything, and just be. You know? I just feel like this play, the people I used to love and now hate each other, like it's all bringing me down all of the time. I need help. I want to be done. Done being sad.
I ask for too much, but, can't I just be happy without someone having to bring me down? Without someone wanting to rain on my parade because I'm happy?
Sorry guys, I'm sick of being a downer too. Really, I promise. It'll be over soon.
This play has taken everything I have. I feel so empty. I'm never happy. If I am, it's only for maybe a day, two at most. Then something goes wrong that gets me down again. I'm so sick of being sad, of having no one to depend on. I know, my blogs are all about complaining now. Sorry guys. I just want to be happy. It's kind of like what Cass and I were talking about yesterday. How being a freshman was like being fresh. I can be happy after I get over this road bump, after I get around it, after I find some way over it, I'll be okay. It just seems like once I get past that road bump, I have to get over ten more to be okay. It's so hard, and I'm so tired of it. I mean, I feel like I just attract drama, and I don't even want it, not one bit. I was happy Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. It was so so nice not to have to worry about anything, and just be. You know? I just feel like this play, the people I used to love and now hate each other, like it's all bringing me down all of the time. I need help. I want to be done. Done being sad.
I ask for too much, but, can't I just be happy without someone having to bring me down? Without someone wanting to rain on my parade because I'm happy?
Sorry guys, I'm sick of being a downer too. Really, I promise. It'll be over soon.
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