Tuesday, November 18, 2008

All I Ask.

Could you be the one to make me fall?
I am always running, will you follow?
Catch me if you dare, tame me and I'll never go.
All I ask is that you'll love me.
And should you cry, I'll drink your tears,
I would kill your enemies,
Walk into a burning house to save you,
And all I ask is that you'll love me.
All I ask is that you'll love me.
If I fall again.

I remember when I was jealous of my friends. Of my good friends. Maybe that's why I was friends with them at all, but I doubt that. But it's like.. Cass, I think maybe I was jealous of her because she was so beautiful, she was loved by everyone that was around her. There was Deanna, She was the most gorgeous person I knew. She got all the attention & always got what she wanted. Why, I'm not sure, but she wasn't afraid to ask for things. Maybe it wasn't jealousy, maybe it was envy. I could have just been proud. Proud that they were my friends. I got to claim them as mine. Maybe it's because I wanted to be like them.

Now, I don't. I like being me. I know who I am, and I'm proud of myself. Proud there's no one like me. Now, I'm happy that they call me their friends. Cass, Heather, Deanna. Yeah they're my friends, but now I'm theirs too. I'm creating who I want to be one step at a time, by myself- so that I can be proud of who and where I am.

I think I like being wanted. Feeling loved, feeling safe. Maybe half the time that's all I want, and I'm cool with that, cause I also know that's what I have. I know I'm loved. I know I'm safe. I know my ground.

Right now, I just need to stabilize my relationships with the people I care about and set them in the places they're supposed to be in my mind. Everyone has they're own category in my head, I just gotta get my priorities straight.
I gotta get my head straight.

I like this whole "being happy" thing. It's what I need.

4 comments:

Cassidi Marie said...

Kara-
You seriously have me in tears.
You have no idea, my dearest Doll, how blessed we all are to have you in our lives. One of the few things Heather and I do agree on these days is that, missy, are the cat's pajamas.
Also... I'm glad you liked the song. Props to Ms. Abel... She found it for me. =]
Please always remember, whatever else happens, everyone you know has been blessed to have you in our lives.
I love you.
-Kitty.

Heather. said...

honey.

we were always friends.

i just suck at that whole concept.
but i'm fixing it.
I'm really trying.
I'm not willing to lose you again.

never
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever.

swear.
I love you.
get some sleep.
stop scaring yourself, i'm always going to love you sweetie.

Hair said...

It's hard to picture you truly sad. Then again, what do i know? I've only know you for 3 or 4 months you are one of the happiest people i know. It's actually kind of refreshing to see a bright star shining in the gloom we call life.

Congrats on your happiness, may it never leave you.

Hair said...
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