I don't care whatcha think, as long as it's about me.

The rest of us can find happiness in misery.
Oh how I love me some Fall Out Boy. Sigh.
I'm not sure exactly why, but I know I've been out of my funk guys, and I'm sorry. It's weird, started Saturday..? And hasn't exactly stopped. Weird mood swings, and honest, I'm sick of it. I just want to be happy dammit!
I think there are a couple of major points though, that are bringing me down:

1. All this talk about wanting to leave Show Low and never come back. Yay college, yay new lives, I get the gist. I'm so extremely happy for every single one of you, I just hate the fact that you feel so tied down and want to leave. I don't want to be the one to hold you back, I'm just going to miss you. Shay says at least every other day that there are only four months left, and every single time I hear it, a piece of me breaks. Just small pieces, but once you break enough of them, a whole chunk breaks away. I'm not holding you back, I just wish you knew what leaving is going to do to me. Not just Shay though... all of you. It's not that I don't want you to leave, it's that I love you too much to let you go.
It was probably a realll bad idea to become such good friends with Seniors and Juniors. Suck.

2. All the stress of school is kind of taking it's toll, too. I'm so worked up about getting good grades it's all I think about. "I have to study, I have to study, I have to study." I almost wish it came easily to me, but working for it is nice.. just hard. I need some chill time.

3. I think I need some me time? Or.. some me-and-my-best-friend-hanging-out-laughing time. Quite possibly that's the case. I want to be people friendly... once I'm happy with people again. That's the best I can explain it.


Right now
I am feeling a bit burned out, but still there.

Right now
I am thinking about today.

Right now
I am really wishing I could express my thoughts.

Right now
I am looking forward for the weekend.

Right now
I am wanting to go read my book.

Right now
I want to know what’s wrong with me today...



Food for thought
“There is one thing I have to tell you, just one thing you need to remember always. You are my best friend. You have been that way for a while now and in my heart you always will be. That’s it.”

“I believe in pink, I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”


Just give me some time. I'll get there.