I really want to know if I'll be able to get along on my own. I really do. Things are a mess, and I cry almost every night. I mean, we have less than four and a half weeks left until opening, and I've only really blocked one scene, of which I don't really even know. It's hard. I wish I could act. I need support, and my family has more than been there for me. I'm just not sure I can do it.
Shay leaves in less than 7 months. She'll do great things, I know, but my heart breaks when I think about how far away she'll be, and how happy she'll be- without me. I love her with everything I have. She thinks I'm so strong. I'm really not. How will I be able to make it without her? Things are hard,and they'll just get harder. So I'm going t be optimistic. Cass makes a very valid point. She climbed a mountain all by herself. She's moving on. I wish I could be that strong. I need her, too.
I need to be as strong as her and Shay. I look up to them so much.
So I need to be able to look after myself. I need to be able to look up to me. I need to be able to count on myself. It's the only way I'll ever be strong. As strong as the people I look up to.
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can we just make one of those pacts that five years old make over cookie dough and old 1990 mix tapes?
where we go, let's never ever ever fight again?
okay deal.
i missed you, a lot more than i thought capable.
Kara, i love you terribly, irrevocably, eternally, sincerely, permanently.
truthfully,
heather.
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